unload your past mistakes

Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame,
trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on


xoxo
i love you?

thiis iisn't the liife

there is only one way out


and its my decision now

im tired of living; but scared of dying

"My time has come, and so I'm gone. To a better place, far beyond. I love you all as you can see. But it's better now, because I'm free."


Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.

I have that feeling

addicting

[wowww, this thing is addicting]
blogging that is

i dont know if i can let you in again
first i would do anything for you to come back
now that you are
i relalize that you did realize you messed up
and lost something you need
but i dont think i lost something i need
just a feeling i needed

i wont do this again
i wont let this happen
and i will stop it
before it does

i know your playing me
along with 3 other girls
but you know what
play away
cause this is one game
you wont win

scared

I didn't mess this up. You did.
But why am I paying for it?
I thought things would be better by now
But their not
So I am going to tell myself again, next year it will be better
This isn't fair to me
Or you
Or them
I don't want to lose anyone
But I am afraid that this is going to happen soon
If I don't do something
But I don't want to do this
Because I still want to live my life
But sometimes you have to
To save the ones you love
I feel like you are taking advantage of me
And I love you all
But please leave me out of it
It doesn't mean I don't care
It just means I can't deal with it
And when I can't deal with it
I go back to my old..bad person
And I don't want to be that person
Not this time
I don't know how to deal anymore
Thoughts are racing through my mind
And maybe, If I am gone, you guys will come together again
And work together as a family
Not as individuals
Maybe I can be the reason you all come together
I am just to scared.

what do you believe?

"Values are at the heart of every decision you make, every opinion you develop. They're an expressions of what you believe, and they provide the foundation for your reaction to everything that happens in your lifetime. What do you believe? Identify your beliefs and let them guide you through your life. Be strong and determined to never lose sight of them. Remember they belong to you and you are not alone. No one can ever take them away from you"

RIP

i dont care if i had you for 3 weeks
i miss you
you rocked
everyone thinks its dumb for me to cry
but i really cared for you
i wish you were here right now

Something good happened to you today--Did you notice

I want to start something new.
Everyday I seem to come home complaining how bad things are
I have problems in my life, I understand that
Everyone does and although they may be bad
Everyday I want to say three good things that have happened to me
throughout the day
Even the little things

"Don't let yourself get lost in your problems-focusing on a few positives will keep your head above water even in the toughest times"
--Earl Woods

PLEASEEE,

don't take the boy,

two oh oh nine

"You were only given this life
because you're strong enough to live it."

I am going to make it through this year
I am going to make it without any regrets
I am going to make it without losing any friendships
I am going to make it with my family

and I promise, I will make it.